


you've got some magic touch

by independentalto



Series: (all that i can hear is) a simple song [14]
Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV)
Genre: F/M, an au stashed somewhere in canon probably
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-14
Updated: 2020-01-14
Packaged: 2021-02-27 08:41:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,830
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22264291
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/independentalto/pseuds/independentalto
Summary: Hunter tends to be a little over-the-top on undercover missions.Bobbi's not amused.
Relationships: Lance Hunter/Bobbi Morse
Series: (all that i can hear is) a simple song [14]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1594819
Comments: 4
Kudos: 17





	you've got some magic touch

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired by "Warpath" by Ingrid Michaelson.

Bobbi knew Hunter could be infuriating when they were undercover, but this took things to a  _ whole  _ new level. 

Case in point: currently, the entire SHIELD team was undercover at their third gala of the week, each of them flitting around with nonchalant, pretty looks on their face while straining to pick up any intel they could. They were hot on the trail of Francois Ducat, an infamous French painting dealer who they’d heard had been dealing in some...extraterrestrial goods. 

She, of course, was partnered with Hunter -- normally something she would bluster about until she was blue in the face, but Hunter had a certain knack for cracking undercover missions such as these, most likely a product of his English charm and brave flirtations. (And if said missions usually ended in a charming romp in the sheets, that was neither here nor there.) Sometimes, however, there were times Hunter was a little  _ too  _ good at his job. 

“Bobbi, calm down,” May admonished lightly in her ear. “You look like you’re about to eat the poor governor’s daughter alive.” Bobbi snapped slightly to attention, realizing only then she’d been baring her teeth just the  _ tiniest  _ bit. So sue her for being irritated that Hunter was overdoing his job. It would only lead to unneeded attachments, and they’d probably have the poor girl hanging on to his ankle as they departed with the 084s rumored to be here. 

_ Still,  _ she mused as she watched Hunter lay a delicate hand on the blonde’s shoulder and burst into a boisterous laugh. (Of course she was blonde. He really sure know how to pick ‘em.)  _ You don’t have designs on him anymore, Morse. You two aren’t even married. _ The voice in her head was right: she didn’t have time to be jealous. She wasn’t jealous. Not of a little blonde floozy who looked fresh out of a boob job. 

She  _ wasn’t  _ jealous. Not at all. 

“You’ve been standing there for the last fifteen minutes,” Mack murmured as he stopped by to take her into a slow dance. “Did you get  _ any  _ intel on whether Ducat would be here tonight?” 

“No,” Bobbi admitted, twirling into the audience and back. “I’ve had to make sure Hunter was doing his goddamn job and not getting into some other girl’s dress.” An unexpected turn brought them face-to-face with said pairing, and Bobbi only had time to glare venomously at the both of them before continuing with Mack. “He keeps flirting with her like she’s the most interesting thing in the world,” She huffed at the upturned corners of Mack’s mouth. “The only thing interesting about her is how her boob job managed to resist gravity.”

All Hunter had to do was stop flirting with the bitch and they could get on with their lives. That was it! She said as such to Mack, who was unable to keep a guffaw from escaping his throat. “You’re sure you’re not jealous?” he asked, raising an eyebrow when all she did was huff at him again. “Alright,” he said, putting his hands in the air. “No more questions.” 

“I’m  _ not _ ,” Bobbi bit out. “There’s just at least fifteen different people he could’ve talked to...like the banker over in the corner, Ducat’s assistant, Monsieur Cabbage-face over there...any of them could’ve had useful intel. And he’s over there with his stupid  _ hand pat  _ and all of the women are  _ blushing _ and are  _ literally  _ throwing themselves at him.” Out of the corner of her eye, she spotted one of the belles of the ball shyly go up to Hunter and introduce herself, making him laugh and dramatically kiss her hand. “There! See?”

“She walked up to him and said hi.” 

“He could’ve ignored her!” 

“And miss out on possibly valuable intel?” 

“Well...I...” Whatever excuse Bobbi had had died in her throat. “I guess you’re right,” she said finally. “But that doesn’t mean I’m  _ jealous _ .” She wasn’t. To be jealous would mean she’d have ripped someone’s handbag out of their hands and started a catfight. Or stormed over to Hunter and blown their cover by seizing his arm and proclaiming her ownership. Which she didn’t. Own him, that was. What was she, a misandrist? 

Bobbi’d seen several episodes of  _ Friday Night Lights,  _ and was pretty sure this wasn’t jealousy. Not by a long shot. Maybe she’d better get back and ashamedly watch some  _ Victorious.  _ Just to make sure. 

“Please,” Daisy snorted over the comms. “You’re so jealous I can see the green coming off from you. And I’m on the other side of the room.” 

“You do look like you’re about to kill the woman Hunter’s with,” Simmons piped in, as if Bobbi’s murderous glare wasn’t visible from the International Space Station. “But I can’t quite blame you. If Fitz was doing what Hunter was, I would’ve been just as livid.” 

“Yeah, but you’re  _ with  _ Fitz,” Daisy said, and suddenly the silence over the comms had taken on a curious tension. “You two are together. Exclusive. Bumpin’ uglies with each other and each other only.” There was a choking sound over the comms from both Coulson and May. “As far as we know, Bobbi and Hunter  _ aren’t _ .” When no one objected, Daisy raised an unseen eyebrow. “Or is there something you’re not telling us, Morse?” 

“I was the one that filed for divorce!” Bobbi exclaimed. “The hell makes you think I’d want to get back together with him?”

“I think a few hotel bills here and there might beg to differ,” Daisy said dryly. “Tell me, did that Airbnb in Munich do you any good? Lincoln and I want to go to Germany when we can get an off week or two. Or how ‘bout the one in Osaka? Oh, or even the pods in London -- I gotta say, that was a risky one, having sex right next to sleeping teenagers --” 

“Target at seven o’clock,” May said abruptly into the comms, and Daisy went silent before Bobbi could locate the young Inhuman and hang her from the rafters. “Everyone be ready to detain and pursue if necessary.” 

As it was, Ducat  _ did  _ decide to run, leaving Bobbi and Mack (mostly Bobbi) to curse their formal footwear and chase after him, pushing through several affronted guests and even more spilled drinks. “You take the left, I’ll take the right,” Mack panted when they came to a split going around the building; nodding, Bobbi simply hitched up her dress, holstered her gun and sprinted off. Her path led her right back into the throng, where a separate altercation had broken out. 

“Looks like we’re not the only ones here for Ducat,” Coulson yelled into his earpiece. “Get to him before HYDRA does.” At least five soldiers, all dressed to the nines, went flying towards the other side of the room suddenly; glancing at the source of their flight, she found Daisy quaking people left and right in an effort to clear the room. One of them, Bobbi noted with grim satisfaction, had been the girl Hunter had been so enamored with earlier. 

Still, grunts and cracks filled the room as the team fought their way through the room, searching for Ducat all the way. Twice, Bobbi found herself back-to-back with May, only having time to nod at her before they split again. A few feet away, she spotted Hunter fighting off three soldiers with only a single chair leg; smashing one over a soldier’s head, she tossed him a chair leg before ICEing the other two. 

“Thanks -- “ Hunter began, only to lose his sentence when Bobbi yanked him into a bruising kiss. 

“For the record, that blonde’s boob job was totally unnatural,” she hissed before shooting at another soldier over his head. “And no matter what Daisy says, I was  _ not  _ jealous.” 

They found Ducat cowering in the back room behind several cases of expensive wine, and Mack and May took him back to the Quinjet while the rest of them took stat on the HYDRA forces present. “Big number out tonight,” Coulson remarked casually while Daisy tiptoed over to the boxes of wine. “Probably means whatever Ducat had was big,” 

“I should hope so,” Hunter muttered. “Nearly had my bloody eye taken out a couple of times by some acrylics.” 

“Don’t worry, everyone appreciated your service to society,” Bobbi snorted under her breath. “Or, at least, the women did.” 

“Oi! Uncalled for!” 

“She had her hands all over you,  _ Lance _ , what else am I supposed to say about it --” 

“You could  _ thank _ me, maybe, for getting the intel that took down Ducat --” 

“Well, you didn’t have to get it by practically  _ pawing  _ her --”

“Oh, my god,” Daisy said loudly. “She was  _ jealous _ _ , _ Hunter, for fuck’s sake, can you two just do whatever it is that gets you to check into a hotel on a SHIELD credit card and bone vicariously for the rest of the night so we can leave in the morning?” 

A cockroach could have passed in its sleep and it would’ve been louder than the silence forced upon the room. Finally, Hunter cleared his throat, scratching the back of his head sheepishly. 

“I...may or may not have been trying to achieve that.” 

Bobbi whipped her head so fast around she almost got whiplash. “What do you  _ mean _ , you were trying to do that?” Had he intentionally made sure Bobbi saw him with the blonde floozy? Had he purposely chosen the tackiest looking girl in the room to make her jealous? 

Hunter purposely didn’t meet her eyes. “You’re hot when you’re jealous,” he muttered, shuffling his feet. At this, Coulson threw his hands up, grabbed a crate of wine and left the room. “Thought it would, er...help.” The absurdity of the situation finally made its way into the tense air, and Bobbi couldn’t help but begin to laugh. God, it was like they were in high school. What kind of mature couple stooped to these tactics? 

“I don’t think you were supposed to point that out,” she said between guffaws. “I think I was supposed to be angry the entire way.” All chance of that had gone out the window as soon as she’d fully realized how juvenile they were being. 

Hunter pouted. “Well, it almost worked,” he said. “Now what? I did all that for nothing?” Raising an eyebrow, Bobbi let her laughter die down into a low chuckle before giving her ex-husband a slow-once over, causing him to gulp. Daisy caught wind of the exchange and made a loud gagging sound before grabbing a crate and fleeing from the room.

“Well,” she said, and Hunter’s nervousness only increased further. “Between you and me, I think we’ve got quite the selection of wines here. Might not get to pick a good one for quite some time.” Bobbi took a few measured steps towards him, delicately plucking the collar of his dress shirt and pulling him close.

“Pick the right one, and maybe you’ll get a little luckier tonight.” 


End file.
